


Queen Cobra

by snekwami



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien is a damsel in distress, Alternate Universe, Friendship, Gen, LIKE ALL THE TIME, Memes, No Romance, Original Kwamis, Rich kid bonding, Season 2 spoilers, Snake!Alix, aggressively gen, because i love that headcanon, get that shippy nonsense outta here!, only friendship allowed here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-23
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-02-05 20:19:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12801591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snekwami/pseuds/snekwami
Summary: Over a hundred years ago, the Cat Miraculous was lost along with the Peacock and the Butterfly. Present day: Ladybug, Rena Rouge and Queen Cobra have managed to take down Hawk Moth and restore peace to Paris, or so they think. It turns out that the danger is not over for the son Hawk Moth left behind. Adrien Agreste needs a superhero's help to deal with the mess his father left him in, which soon becomes a life-or-death situation when things escalate. He picks Queen Cobra, as he happens to accidentally know her secret identity - and Alix Kubdel is so, so not pleased about suddenly having to be an emotional crutch to a kid whose father she just threw in jail.





	1. Not-so-secret identity

**Author's Note:**

> I've been wanting to write Snake!Alix for ages now, and I told myself I'd finish writing other things first but this was way too tempting. Kinda based off [this thing](http://queenkubdel.tumblr.com/post/166436057654/ive-been-thinking-about-this-ever-since-i-saw) I drew for kwami swap week. Enjoy!

Being a superhero was fairly fun most of the time, getting to save people from danger and zooming around the Parisian rooftops without anyone telling you off or yelling at you to slow down. And plus, having superpowers? That was _awesome_.

Being a pretty blatant third wheel to Ladybug and Rena Rouge, on the other hand, was a heck of a lot _less_ fun. It was always the two of them fighting the akuma, saving the day, actually having non-lethal special powers and getting to use them without worrying that they were going to kill someone off or whatever. And then they’d fist-bump each other, only remembering Queen Cobra as an afterthought.

“Oh – Queen Cobra! You go keep an eye on the civilians! Make sure they’re safe!”

It was always that. Making sure the civilians were safe. Going after normal, “muggle” bad guys, like robbers or muggers or murderers, and not the magical supervillains in dorky costumes that plagued Paris on a daily basis. No, those were Ladybug and Rena’s job to deal with. Half the time it didn’t even feel like Queen Cobra was part of their team.

But now? Things were different. Recent events had shaken up Paris so badly, probably even cool-headed _Ladybug_ wouldn’t know what to do with herself. Was her job at an end, now that there were no more akumas? Would she and Rena have to retire? Or would they finally have to start doing the lowly, unglamorous job that Queen Cobra was already used to, cleaning up the city of criminals who did bad things on their own accord?

Well, maybe she wouldn’t know for a while until she saw them again. And until then, there were more pressing matters on her mind. Far more pressing matters.

Like the fact that a _certain someone_ now knew her secret identity. Someone who was definitely not supposed to.

 

“Yo ninja turtle, what is UP my dude?”

Alix Kubdel burst through the door into Master Fu’s room, throwing her schoolbag on the floor and sitting down in front of him, exhausted. Today had been such a weird day.

“I really should be asking you that question,” Fu said, not even raising his eyes from the book he was reading. “I hear quite a lot of interesting things happened today.”

“Yeah, it was crazy. You must have heard that Ladybug and Rena caught Hawk Moth, right? Oh yeah, and they apparently don’t know you so they asked me to give you this.”

She took a tiny little butterfly brooch out of her pocket and put it on the table in front of her.

“It was a bit of a job persuading them that I actually know the Great Guardian of the Miraculouses in real life, or whatever fancy title you call yourself,” she continued. “Do they really not know you? How did you even give them their Miraculouses if you never met them?”

“I simply left the box containing their Miraculouses in their possession,” Fu said, before taking a sip of the tea that was on the table. “The less they know about me, the better. The Ladybug and Fox Miraculouses are considered more powerful and valuable than yours, so it would be safer for them not to know too much. I left it to their kwamis to explain everything to them.”

Alix pouted for a few seconds – more powerful and valuable, honestly! Did Ladybug or Rena have frickin’ _rollerskates_ on their super suit? Um, no, they did not.

“I guess it’s a good thing you didn’t do that with me,” she said finally. “Scoot wouldn’t have bothered to explain anything to me anyway.”

The little green kwami in question jumped out of her pocket indignantly. “That is blatantly untrue! I would certainly have explained your powers to you if Master Fu did not, I would never have just left you to fend for yourself–”

“Yeah you would, noodle boy.” She gave Scoot a little poke in the side. “Anyway, catching Hawk Moth and putting him in jail was not the only thing that happened today. Uh, something else did too. Something less good.”

“You discovered the true identity of Hawk Moth and did not like the result, is that it?” Fu asked. By this time Wayzz had hopped off the phonograph and onto Fu’s shoulder, listening intently. Gee, why couldn’t Scoot be that polite all the time?

“Sorta,” she replied. “I mean yeah, turns out Hawk Moth is Gabriel Agreste, famous fashion designer and whatever, the dad of one of the kids in my class. But um… there’s something else too… I sorta screwed up…”

“That’s an understatement,” Scoot added, rather unhelpfully.

“No it isn’t,” Alix said. “It’s just that someone _may_ have found out my secret identity.”

“They definitely did.”

“And then I ran straight over here to tell you so I have no idea what their reaction is.”

“A disaster, probably.”

“Would you be quiet?!”

“How did this happen?” Fu asked. His expression hadn’t changed at all.

“I de-transformed and didn’t realize this person was standing right behind me,” Alix said. “Lame, I know. And I know we’re not supposed to tell people our identities, so like, am I in danger or something? What am I meant to do now?”

“That depends entirely on who this person is. After all, I know your secret identity, as do Wayzz and Scoot, and your brother too. It isn’t always a bad thing.”

Yeah, well Jalil only knew for practical reasons. Scoot refused to eat anything that wasn’t dead mice, and owning an actual pet snake was the only non-suspicious way to get hold of that, so of course she had to tell Jalil. He was an adult, he could buy one, even if it did freak their dad out a lot. And she trusted him to keep her secret.

“So who is this person?” Fu asked.

“Well…”

The worst person possible, really. Not only was it someone she saw almost every single day, but also someone who was probably in a complete breakdown over other things in their life right now and definitely did not need to have _knowing a superhero’s secret identity_ added to their list of things to flip out over.

“It’s Hawk Moth’s son,” Scoot said for her, crossing his little kwami arms and rolling his eyes.

“Yeah. Adrien Agreste.” Alix took a quick glance at the smartwatch on her wrist – Adrien had her number from various school projects, but he hadn’t tried to call her or anything. Maybe he was still too busy freaking out over his dad being a supervillain to bother with his classmate turning out to be the least famous member of Paris’s resident supergirl trio.

“That’s not too bad then,” Fu said, shrugging and pouring himself some more tea. “He seems like a nice person from what you’ve told me before, I’m sure he won’t tell anyone. And with the threat of Hawk Moth gone, it is much less dangerous for everyone whether they know your identity or not.”

“But that was _emotionally stable_ Adrien I’ve always told you about,” Alix said, trying to figure out a way to get across what she was worrying about. “Right now he’s literally just found out his dad is Hawk Moth, who’s been put in jail, and his mother’s been missing for like a year. He’s gotta stay in custody of Gabriel Agreste’s assistant now. He basically has no parents. And from what I saw of him when I was keeping him safe while Ladybug and Rena were busting in and whatever, he’s uh… not taking it that well.”

“Then I suggest you go speak to him.”

“Um… what?”

Fu seemed weirdly unperturbed. “Go have a chat. Remind him not to tell anyone your secret identity. Make sure he’s alright.”

“Bruh, I’m not a therapist. I am very bad at dealing with people who are flipping out.”

“It’s true,” Scoot said.

“Shut up, Scoot, you’re wrong. I changed my mind. I’m good at dealing with people, and I will definitely go talk to Adrien.”

Fu just smiled. “Excellent. Let me know how it goes.”

“Oh, and by the way…” Alix fiddled with the laces on her Heelys absent-mindedly. “Now that Hawk Moth’s gone, what’s the Super Squad gonna do? I mean, as Queen Cobra I can still go be Batman, but Ladybug and Rena never did any of that stuff. They only fought akumas. Are they still gonna keep their Miraculouses?”

“That is up to them. I believe it would be good for the city’s morale to have their superheroes continue to be around, wouldn’t it? But if they have nothing that they want to do then let me know, and I will get their Miraculouses back.”

“How?”

He tapped the edge of his nose. “That’s a secret.”

“Are you gonna break into their houses and steal their jewellery while they’re asleep or something? Dude, that’s creepy.”

Wayzz, usually content to be silent and just listen in, burst into laughter. “Who says he’s the one who’s doing the breaking in?”

“You, really?! Wow, criminals…”

Scoot tugged on one of her loose strands of hair. “Come on, the sooner we talk to the Agreste boy, the better.”

Agreste boy? Pfffff, he had a name. But Scoot was right. It was better to just get this over with before Adrien had a total meltdown, which was probably going to happen at some point. That kid had always been a ticking time bomb.

She stood up and picked up her bag. “I guess I’ll see you guys some other time then.”

“Perhaps stick around for tea next time?” Fu asked, holding up the tea pot.

“Meh, I think I’ll stick with Red Bull, thanks. Bye for now.”

She waved and walked out of the door, Scoot whizzing back into her pocket along the way.

 

Right… now to find Adrien. Would he still be in that protective alleyway where she had left him? Or would he have gone back home? Of course, it was always possible he might have been picked up by the police or something, they’d want to know what was going on. Not that they’d get anything out of Adrien, of course, there was no way that boy knew anything about his father’s villainous activities, he was definitely innocent–

Oh, drat. He was standing right there. Outside Fu’s shop.

“Uh… hey Adrien!” Alix said, trying to sound as casual as possible.

“Oh… hi…”

He really, really did not look good. Red eyes, tear-stained face, clothes still half covered in debris from his father’s evil lair sending off missiles everywhere when Ladybug and Rena had broken in. His voice sounded like he was trying to hold back tears, though mostly failing.

“What are you doing here?” she asked. Maybe this was all just some weird, crazy coincidence. There was a small likelihood that Adrien hadn’t recognized her when she de-transformed, or maybe he had somehow forgotten (amnesia could be a side-effect of trauma, right?), or maybe he hadn’t even noticed and she just thought he did, and maybe he just happened to be coming to Fu’s shop to get a back massage or something. Yeah.

“I followed you.” He was shuffling nervously on his feet. “I saw you earlier, and… you’re… Queen Cobra…”

“Pffffff, no I’m not, that’s ridiculous.”

“You are! I saw you de-transform right in front of my eyes!”

Alright, so he did know. Seriously though, how had he managed to follow her here? She was very quick on her Heelys, he must have been outright sprinting to keep her within sight.

Which of course meant that he wanted to talk to her about all this…

Ugh. She didn’t really like talking to people much.

“Yeah, fine, it’s me,” she said, taking a quick glance round to make sure no one else was nearby to eavesdrop. “But you can’t tell anyone.”

He shook his head. “I won’t.”

“Good.”

There was an awkward silence for what seemed to stretch into hours, though was probably more like a few seconds. Yeah, this was why she didn’t like talking to people. No one ever knew what to say to her.

“Thank you for saving me,” he said quietly, at long last. “When the missiles were going off and the akuma army were attacking. I probably would have died if you didn’t get me out of there.”

Oh Adrien, always so polite, remembering his pleases and thank yous even while probably internally falling apart. It could not have been pleasant for him to know that his own father, as well as being the city’s most hated supervillain, was okay with endangering his own son just to have a chance to escape.

“Hey, it’s no problem,” she said.

Now another long, awkward silence. Yikes. This was the worst conversation ever, and she’d had a lot of bad conversations before.

Eventually Scoot just flew right out of her pocket muttering, “Oh for goodness’ sake, you can’t do anything right, can you!” He zoomed right up in front of Adrien’s face and said, “Hello Adrien, I am Scoot, if you have any questions about being a superhero then just ask me because this trainwreck of a classmate of yours is certainly not doing a good job of telling you anything.”

Adrien stumbled backwards slightly, a look of shock on his face. “What…”

“Yes, I’m real. No, you’re not dreaming.”

“Um…” Adrien recovered quickly, to his credit. “Nice to meet you… Scoot. But… who are you?”

“I am a kwami, a magical creature. I give Alix her powers when she transforms into Queen Cobra. I also attempt to give her advice in her daily life, which she refuses to pay attention to.”

“That’s ‘cause your advice is boring,” Alix said. “Anyway Adrien, got any questions? I may as well answer them.”

He just stared for a few seconds, seemingly still taking everything in. Then he said, “Who are Ladybug and Rena Rouge then?”

“I have no idea. They’re probably a lot better at keeping their identities hidden than I am. But then again, it’s their Miraculouses that Hawk Moth wanted, not mine…”

She trailed off, realizing that mentioning Hawk Moth around Adrien Agreste might just be a bad idea. Sure enough, at the mention of his father, a flicker of pain flashed across his eyes. Yeah okay, she was definitely going to have to start thinking before speaking around this kid.

“So I don’t know who they are,” she continued quickly. “I guess I might never find out now.”

“Are the heroes not ever coming back then?”

“No idea. I probably will, I mean, someone’s gotta stop the bank robberies and criminal gangs, right? But I don’t know if Ladybug and Rena will be back or not.”

“Oh… okay…” He thought for another few seconds. “How do you act so different?”

“Uh, what do you mean?”

“Queen Cobra’s so majestic and aloof, and you’re… um… well…”

Indescribable, sure. She got that a lot.

“I do that on purpose,” she said. “Otherwise how stupidly easy is it gonna be to recognize me? I have pink hair, dude. _Pink hair_. And I skate a lot. And I’m tiny. As big as Paris is, there really aren’t that many people like me around.”

_Anime protagonist_ was the phrase coming to mind. But the truth was, if there was a “protagonist”, it was either Ladybug or Rena. No one in their right mind would pick Queen Cobra as the number one hero of Paris, whether she looked like it as a civilian or not.

Adrien was still just staring, looking very much like he was about to cry. That was not good.

“You should probably go home and get some rest,” she suggested.

“I don’t want to go home.”

His fists were clenched now. Even more not good.

“Maybe call up Nino and talk to him?”

“Nino left for the airport several hours ago.”

Already? Jeez, the summer holidays had only just started today. In any case, Adrien’s fists were even more clenched now, and he was looking at the ground, furiously blinking tears away from his eyes. Poor boy… that ticking time bomb was probably seconds away from exploding.

“You need a cup of tea,” Alix said, stepping forwards and grabbing his arm. “Come on.”

“Where–”

“Shush. Just follow me.”

Without waiting for a reply, she pulled him right back into Fu’s shop with her. Fu didn’t even look surprised to see them – well, she had always suspected he was either really wise or secretly psychic, maybe both.

“Can we get this dude a cup of tea please?” she asked him. “He’s had a rough day.”

“Certainly,” Fu said, immediately pouring out another cup that he already seemed to have ready. Okay, he must be psychic. “Take a seat, Adrien.”

Adrien did not seem surprised that Fu already knew who he was. Then again, that might just have been because everyone knew Paris’s most famous fashion model, he was already used to being a celebrity. Bewildered, he did indeed sit down on the floor and silently took the cup of tea Fu handed to him.

“You gonna be alright now?” Alix asked.

Adrien just nodded politely, taking a small sip from the tea cup.

“Cool. I guess I’ll be heading off now. If you’ve got any other questions you can always ask me later.”

“Are you seriously leaving right now?” Scoot screeched, giving her a punch in the arm. “The Agreste child is on the verge of having a nervous breakdown thanks to today’s events, and you would just leave him here in the company of a stranger–”

“Be quiet!” She grabbed Scoot in her hands and tried to stop him talking. “If I don’t get back soon dad’s gonna be so mad, he’ll ground me again…”

“Excuses!”

“Shush!”

Adrien was looking up at them, seeming nervous. “It’s okay, you can leave, I… I’m sure I’m fine…”

He was certainly not fine. But what else was Alix meant to do? Just stay here and endure more of those awkward silences? Adrien was nice and all, but having to comfort him in such dramatic circumstances was well beyond her capabilities. The emotional, supportive side of being a superhero was never something she could get the hang of.

“Master Fu here will take care of you, he’s a cool bean,” she said quickly. “I really gotta go now. Call me if you need anything!”

She didn’t really mean that last bit. Calling her, on a phone, expecting her to _answer_ and actually _speak_ to someone, well that was the quickest way of getting on her nerves. But it was probably the kind of nonsensical reassuring thing he needed to hear right now, so she had just said it without thinking. Grabbing Scoot again and stuffing him in her pocket, she left for good this time.

 

All the way along the journey back home she had to deal with Scoot making snide remarks from inside her pocket, as usual, earning her weird looks from passers-by – though the weird looks may have been a combination of that, and also the fact that she was Heelying down the street in an area that had definitely banned Heelys. (It wasn’t like anyone cared, it was fine.)

Arriving back home was no fun either, her father immediately interrogating her on where she had been, had she been part of Hawk Moth’s final akuma army, all of that stuff. His faith in her had really nosedived since her birthday several months ago. Obviously she was not going to tell him what she had really been up to, and had to invent an excuse like always.

“I was just hanging out with my friends,” she said, shrugging.

(“Pffff, what friends?” Scoot muttered from inside her pocket.)

“The panther friend didn’t challenge you to another cornflake-eating contest again, did he?” her father asked, rather sternly. She had to hold back a laugh – _panther friend_ , really? Was Kim such a hard name to remember?

“He’s not my friend, and no. I wasn’t doing anything bad, I swear.”

It was true, she technically hadn’t done anything bad. Saving Paris from a supervillain was one of the least bad things anyone could ever do, really.

“So who were you with?”

She picked two random classmates. “I was with Marinette and Alya, okay? Does this really matter?”

“I just want to be sure that you were safe.”

“Well clearly, I am perfectly safe and sound. Trust me dad, I’m not _that_ irresponsible.” It was hard to be irresponsible when a whole city was counting on you to protect them – though to be fair, Ladybug and Rena were probably a whole lot more responsible that she was.

Her father sighed, rubbing his forehead. “Fine. But you need to stop running off all the time without letting me know where you’re going. Alright?”

“Yeah, fine.”

She carried on upstairs to where she found her brother, who was working on some nerdy history translation thing like he always was. As soon as he saw her he rushed over and wrapped her in a hug.

“I’m so proud of you!” Jalil screeched, much louder than he should have. “You and Ladybug and Rena saved the day and brought Hawk Moth to justice and–”

“Sure, just say it so loud that all of Paris can hear,” she muttered, though she grinned and hugged him back all the same. Thank goodness this was a large house. The chances that her father had overheard were low.

“Sorry, it was just so cool!” He finally let go and looked at her, pride shining in his eyes. “You’re okay, right?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Oh good. Let me know if you need anything. Want some more food for Scoot? Should I make something nice for dinner? Should we watch The Mummy, in celebration? Should–”

“It’s okay, I don’t want anything!” She pushed Scoot back into her pocket, where she could feel him starting to come out at the mention of food. He’d already eaten recently, and anyway, she hated anyone interrupting when she was speaking to her brother. Jalil was one of the only people in the world who she actually got along with easily.

“You don’t look that happy,” he said, his smile disappearing. “What’s wrong?”

“Adrien Agreste knows my secret identity.”

The smile was back within a few seconds. “Oh, well that’s not so bad! You said Adrien is the nicest kid in your class, right?”

“Nah, that’s Rose. But Adrien’s already freaking out about his dad being a supervillain, so…”

“Wait, Hawk Moth is his dad?!... Agreste… Oh yes, I see, I just hadn’t realized…”

“And he probably is going totally nuts right now and has no one to turn to,” she continued. “I kinda just left him at Fu’s place and then came back here.”

Scoot had been fighting against her fingers and finally managed to fly out. “Yes, because you’re a selfish stubborn no-good who refuses to comfort someone in need!”

“Chill out, snekki,” she said, about to give him a jab in the side but quickly pulled her fingers back when she saw him baring his fangs. “I _tried_. But I’m no good at that stuff, I would have just made it worse. I’m not gentle enough. I always… y’know… break stuff.”

Jalil put a hand on her shoulder. “Alix, a person and a pocket watch are not the same. I’m sure whatever little you did must have helped him, in whatever small way.”

“If you say so…”

“Anyway, do you want to tell me all about today’s superhero adventure now? I can’t wait to hear the details!”

Yeah, that would be better. Recounting the dramatic break into the Agreste mansion would be entertaining enough, even if the whole story would be up on the Ladyblog pretty soon anyway. Jalil always liked to hear the adventures from Alix herself. It was nice really, having someone to chat to about it. And even nicer to know that _one_ of her relatives, at least, didn’t care if she was “irresponsible” or getting into danger or trouble. Jalil would always be there for her.


	2. Siri, how do I stop someone crying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad people like this so far! Not sure how I'm ever gonna top the "yo ninja turtle, what is UP my dude" line but I'll try :P

Queen Cobra did not stop going on patrols. After all, Hawk Moth may have been caught, but that didn’t mean crime in the city was just going to stop overnight. She had hoped Ladybug and Rena would join her, but so far she hadn’t seen either of them. Trying to call them up didn’t seem to make any difference. Maybe they really had stopped. Hopefully not, though… it was a bit lonely on the rooftops with no one else around but the pigeons.

She checked the Snakeboards on the little screen near the tip of her tail, seeing if there were any emergencies people were posting about that needed dealing with. It didn’t look like it. Well, it wasn’t like people used the Snakeboards much anyway, instead preferring to talk about the other heroes on the other parts of the Ladyblog forums. She was already used to having to trawl through the city herself, looking for crime the old-fashioned way.

Still no sight of Ladybug or Rena. Those two had always taken patrols together, so maybe she just kept missing them or something? She didn’t know their schedule. Partially because she had never bothered to find out. Yeah, she was starting to regret that a bit. Putting on the “aloof” act all the time was maybe not always such a good idea, especially when it came to her own (rather friendly) teammates.

It was late in the evening now. Usually during the daytime her large cobra hood could keep the sun out of her eyes but now that it was low in the sky, no such luck. She turned to face the other direction instead – and caught the Agreste mansion within her view.

Ladybug’s special powers had fixed all its damage the other day so it didn’t look any different from usual on the outside. Still the same large building, the big imposing front gates, the huge courtyard it overlooked. Inside, on the other hand, things for the occupants must be very different indeed.

Queen Cobra glanced at the phone on the end of her tail again, feeling somewhat guilty. Adrien had indeed tried to call her once in the past few days. She had just ignored it. After that he hadn’t tried again, and he hadn’t sent any messages either.

Well… maybe he was just being polite. Wanted to thank her for the other day, or something like that. Or maybe he just had more superhero questions that he wanted answers to. (In which case he could easily just go and ask Master Fu, duh.) Hopefully he didn’t want support or anything. Nah, he would have called Nino for that instead, right? Nino was good at that kind of thing. He’d even been _akumatized_ for Adrien. So that phone call, that must have been for something relatively unimportant, and it wasn’t a bad thing that she ignored it. Phew.

It was getting late, she should probably get home before her dad realized she was missing and she got into trouble, as always. Ever since her birthday, the amount of trouble she managed to get into had somehow increased exponentially, and it was a lot harder to be a superhero when she was _grounded_.

She turned back towards the sun to leave…

That missed call just came straight back to mind. What if it had been for something serious? It wasn’t even that she had missed the call, she could easily have answered it. She’d just straight-up turned her phone onto silent and pretended she hadn’t even heard it. Having to have a Meaningful Conversation with a distraught person was one of her least favourite things, thank you very much. So she had just avoided it without even thinking it through.

Oh, why was being a responsible superhero such effort sometimes?

Her conscience got the better of her. (That was probably a good thing really.) Instead of heading back home, she headed towards the Agreste mansion.

She hadn’t been here that often before. There was the whole “defeat Hawk Moth” thing the other day, the time during Christmas when everyone had been invited over, the occasional akuma attack here, such as the Bubbler or Simon Says, and a few times in-between as a civilian for boring stuffy rich people events. It would be weird to visit and know that Gabriel Agreste, aka the world’s most annoying supervillain, was residing in prison rather than in this fortress of a building.

Adrien’s room was one of the windows on the side, she knew that much. Those big evil ones that looked like bars, that made it seem like the poor boy was locked in. Wow, not only was Gabriel a sucky person, he was pretty obviously a sucky father too. Imagine waking up to something as bleak as _that_ every morning.

She used her stretchy prehensile tail to wrap around the railings above the window, then hung upside-down in front of it, tapping on the glass. It was only after seeing Adrien’s expression of shock that she realized that dropping in unannounced, quite literally, was possibly not a great idea. He had been sitting on his sofa and presumably playing video games, but now leapt back in surprise when he saw her, practically falling onto the floor. Whoops.

In any case, once he was over his initial shock, he rather shakily opened the window to let her in. “Queen Cobra? What are you doing here?”

She jumped in through the open window. Standing in front of him as Queen Cobra rather than Alix was nice, since her super skates gave her a bit of added height and she didn’t feel quite so tiny for once. Still pretty short, though.

Noticing that she had been about to put on her normal aloof Queen Cobra voice, she stopped when she remembered that he knew her secret identity. It didn’t matter. She could just be herself.

“Just thought I’d drop by to say hello,” she said.

“Oh, okay… hello.”

Yeah, that had been a lame thing of her to say, and also untrue.

“And also to apologize for leaving so fast the other day,” she carried on. “You probably could have done with a bit more reassurance than a cup of tea.”

He smiled weakly. “Please don’t worry about that, it’s alright, I know that must have been a stressful day for you too. Master Fu was very kind. I made friends with him.”

“Oh, good.”

Now what? She really should have thought about this before she got here. Being polite was boring, small talk was boring, and she didn’t know Adrien well enough for it to be okay for her to make morbid jokes about how he totally had the most emo backstory ever now.

Hmm… maybe attempting to be a comforting friend would be a start. Adrien had always been that kind of person to all his classmates, and he definitely needed someone like that right now, she knew how important it was, remembering how much Jalil’s hugs and kind words meant to her after her birthday when she had–

Nope. No thinking about her birthday right now.

“How are things going?” she asked. That seemed to open the floodgates.

“It’s been stressful,” he admitted, looking down at the ground, rubbing his arm nervously. “My father’s business sort of belongs to me now, I guess. Nathalie’s been doing all she can but she’s very overworked, understandably, so I really should be pulling my weight too.”

“Seriously? A 15 year old, running a company?!”

As usual, she wanted to smack herself with her own tail for speaking without thinking. Why had she decided to do this again? Adrien needed a Rose, or a Marinette, or a Nino, _not_ an Alix.

“Not exactly running it,” Adrien said. “Nathalie’s been doing the business side of things. But considering my father’s… current reputation… the company’s sales have dropped a lot. Too much. I’ve had to double the amount of photoshoots, promotion events to attend, everything like that, just so we can keep the company running…”

He sounded like he was going to start crying again, thinking about his father. Time for the escape plan.

“You’ve talked to Nino about all this, right?” she asked. To her surprise, Adrien shook his head.

“The wi-fi and international messaging costs are so expensive for him now that he’s out of Europe for the next several weeks. He has been trying to call a lot after he heard the news, asking if I’m okay, but I don’t want him having to pay so much just to talk to me when he should be having a relaxing holiday!”

Really? So someone really had been trying to keep Adrien Agreste sane, and he _ignored it???_ This boy needed more help than she realized.

“You need a break,” she said firmly. “A lot’s happened to you recently and you can’t be expected to just get thrown back into model stuff and high society events while you’re still like, I dunno, grieving. And for god’s sake, talk to Nino! He’s probably super worried about you!”

“I know, I know, but he can’t exactly fly back, and international calls and texts really are expensive! And I can’t just let my father’s brand – _my_ brand, I mean – fall apart! People don’t want to support a supervillain, so I’ve got to show them that it’s not him running it now. It’s m-me.”

Talking about his father really did seem to be making him very upset, with his fists clenched again, and tears already starting to run down his face. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. But he wasn’t stopping now.

“And I wish my father had taught me how to do all of this before, so I would know. But no, he didn’t. And maybe I should go visit him in jail, they said I can if I want, but… I’m not sure if… if I want to see him… Oh man, does that make a bad son?”

“What? No!” No one in their mind would call Adrien-freaking-Agreste a _bad son_. “Your dad’s a total dick, he doesn’t deserve you.”

He started crying now. Right. Insulting his dad had probably been a bad idea.

“Sorry,” she muttered.

“No, you’re right…” He wiped a few tears away from his eyes, his fists still clenched. “He’s a bad person, he hurt a lot of people. Everything’s so unfair! And now it’s all on me to sort it out!”

Dealing with crying people was never any fun. If this had been school, she would have just run off to look for Rose or someone to go be a Good Motherly Friend and calm Adrien’s tears. But she couldn’t do that here. Drat… she was going to have to be the Motherly Friend herself now, wasn’t she? Was that even what he wanted? _What did crying people want?_

Well, as much as she never wanted to think about that cursed day ever again, she had certainly been crying on her birthday due to… that thing that happened. And Jalil had been there for her. What had he done again? It was hard to remember now. He had hugged her until she stopped crying, then told her a few bad jokes to cheer her up, and then put on a movie to distract her, and made her some food…

Okay. How much of that could she do? Adrien probably had tons of movies and no shortage of food, but he could do that himself later. He was too busy crying for the bad jokes stage yet. So did that mean she had to hug him? No way. Queen Cobra did not DO hugs. Neither did Alix Kubdel, for that matter, with the sole exception of her brother.

Oh, why did Nino have to be on holiday? Things would have been so much easier with him here! And didn’t Adrien have other people he could rely on? Marinette, Alya, Rose, Juleka, Kim, anyone?

But then again, none of them had been there at the moment when he found out that his father was Hawk Moth. None of them knew how much it was truly, deeply hurting him. And he couldn’t talk to any of them about the dramatic new secret he had discovered – the identity of one of Paris’s superheroes. Perhaps he was keeping it all to himself because he didn’t want to let anything slip. Perhaps he wasn’t sure if any of them would understand if he couldn’t confide _everything_ to them.

So, it was up to Alix then? _Great._

Feeling like a totally clueless moron, she stretched out her tail and wrapped it around his shoulders. There, that counted as a hug, right?

Well, it certainly felt like one. Not many people knew that she could indeed feel sensations in her tail when she was transformed, like an extra limb. How else was she supposed to grab people with it and dangle them over the edges of buildings without accidentally squeezing them to death? (Cobras were not that kind of snake.) She needed the pressure sensitivity. Usually she just used it for superhero stuff.

A hug, though? This felt totally new.

It seemed to be helping, thank goodness, since Adrien was now clinging onto the tail for reassurance, his tears starting to subside. It was a good thing the scales were waterproof, or that might have been kinda gross. Anyway, it looked like she had actually done something _right_ , finally.

“Thank you,” he said eventually, still holding onto the tail for dear life. “Sorry, I’m just… a mess? Everything’s been a lot lately, I’m tired, and scared, and… and…”

“Smad?”

He turned to look at her, frowning.

“Smad,” she repeated. “Sad, and mad, at the same time. Smad.”

For a few seconds more he just stared. Then, very quietly, he started chuckling.

Phew, looked like the bad jokes stage had worked fine too.

“Smad,” he sighed, still smiling, finally letting go of her tail. She quickly retracted it, not used to anyone holding it for so long, or for any length of time at all really. “Yeah, I’m smad.”

“Well yeah, that makes perfect sense considering all the wacky stuff going on in your life. Seriously, it’s like a movie. Speaking of movies, wanna watch one?”

He shook his head. “I don’t really feel like it right now…”

Oh, whoops. Movie and food stage had failed. She knew her success streak had been too long to last. Maybe it was best to get out of here before he started crying again when she made another misstep, which she inevitably would.

“Do you need anything else?” she asked, hoping he wouldn’t.

“No, I think I’ll be alright, thanks for being here… wait, are you leaving already?”

Drat, he was looking afraid or something, like he didn’t want her to go. That was somewhat unusual. Unless she was doing superhero stuff, people tended to want her to leave as quick as possible. She knew perfectly well she was considered annoying. But if he wanted her to stick around for a while, that was weird, and… kind of nice.

“Do you want me to leave?” she asked.

“Oh! Um… well no, but… if you have to go, then…”

Technically she really did have to go. If she didn’t get back soon and her father realized she had been out too long, she was going to be in a heck of a lot of trouble. But was Adrien going to be okay if she left him alone again? It was pretty clear he was not going to call Nino, nor was he going to take a rest. The stubborn, perfect child was going to carry on working himself to death.

“I’ll visit you again soon to check up you, I promise,” she decided, wondering if she would regret it later.

“Really? Thank you!” He was smiling again, a little more happily than before. “You’re so kind.”

Liar. She was not _kind_ in the slightest, and he knew it. Honest, maybe, good at heart, had the best of intentions, all that stuff. But kind? That was going a bit too far. And she very much tried to ignore how proud that fake compliment made her feel on the inside.

“If you need anything then just let me know,” she said.

“I will.”

“Cool. See you later then.”

She finger-gunned at him, the gesture feeling so weird now that she was doing it as Queen Cobra, who never usually did stuff like that. He grinned and did it back. Good – if he was grinning then he was unlikely to start crying again, and it was safe to leave. She jumped back out of the open window and leapt away.

 

She had almost reached home before she heard someone calling out to her.

“Queen Cobra! There you are!”

Oh, that was the most reassuring voice possible to hear when on the rooftops of Paris all alone. She turned around to see Ladybug and Rena Rouge running towards her, huge smiles on their faces. They didn’t know her secret identity, of course, so it was time to be Queen Cobra again. Snarky, sassy Alix would have to wait.

“Hi,” she said. “Good to see you again.”

“You too!” Ladybug replied, coming to a stop in front of her, Rena doing the same shortly after. “We’ve been looking for you. First of all, well done on the other day! We could never have defeated Hawk Moth without your help, you did such an amazing job!”

They were both looking at her with such genuine support on their faces. Trust them to always be so kind all the time, the sort of person a superhero should be. Couldn’t Adrien have discovered one of their identities instead? They would have a much easier time being his freaking therapist!

“Thank you,” she said. “You too.”

“Aww, well, we’re a team, right?”

Barely…

“We had questions actually,” Rena said, in that usual matter-of-fact tone. “Ladybug and I have always specialized in fighting akumas. You, on the other hand, are all about being the coolest masked vigilante ever and cleaning up the streets of Paris, stopping dangerous criminals from hurting the innocents! Now that there are no akumas, would it be okay if we started doing that too?”

“Only if that’s alright!” Ladybug added quickly. “We don’t want to infringe on your job or anything!”

“We just want to help.”

“I know you like working alone, so we won’t bother you or anything, we just wanted to know–”

“–how do you track down ordinary criminals? Unlike akuma villains, they don’t make themselves known–”

“–and do you just take them to the police or what?”

Finishing each other’s sentences, as usual. Oh, classic Ladybug and Rena. She hadn’t realized until now how worried she had been about the possibility of never seeing them again. As distant as she kept herself, she really did like their company. It was nice to know that they always had her back.

“Of course you can start doing that, you don’t have to ask me,” she said. “Isn’t that what superheroes are supposed to do anyway?”

“Oh, right!” Ladybug nodded. “Of course. Thanks.”

“No problem. As for how you find criminals, just keep an eye out. Especially after dark. And check the Snakeboards on the Ladyblog, people often post things there.”

“What do we do with criminals we catch?” Rena asked.

“Take them to the police, like you said. With evidence if you can.”

“Ah right, thank you, that makes sense.”

Did they really have no clue how to do all this? Akumas had always been a big deal, but she had assumed they got on with this stuff too in their spare time. Apparently not, by the sounds of it.

“We’ll try our best,” Ladybug said, pumping a fist in the air.

Why did that nervous smile on her face look familiar? Oh yes, it was similar to when they had fought Stone Heart, the very first akuma all that time ago. Ladybug had been worried, sure that she would fail, not knowing what to do. Then Rena had gone over and put her hands on her shoulders, looked in her eyes, and told her to believe in herself. That they would do this together. That was the moment Ladybug had begun to become more like her usual confident self, and the moment that Queen Cobra knew she was doomed to forever be a third wheel.

So Ladybug was nervous now? Well, this was a fresh start for her. Fighting akumas was what she was used to doing, what her whole hero image was based on. It made sense that she was worried.

“You’ll be great at it,” Queen Cobra said, trying to sound as encouraging as she could without breaking into Alix-levels of enthusiasm. “Paris still needs you. Your jobs aren’t over yet.”

That seemed to help somewhat. It was much easier to motivate a nervous superhero to do her job than to stop a terrified, broken kid from having a breakdown, that was for sure.

“Absolutely right,” Rena said, tapping Ladybug on the head with her flute. “What do you say, milady? Time to clean up the city?”

Ladybug nodded, her face back to the determined expression that she was known for. “Definitely. Let’s get started right now!”

“You coming, QC?”

Queen Cobra shook her head, aware of the sun dipping below the horizon. “I have to go. But good luck.”

“Thanks. I hope we’ll still see you around.”

“Oh, and did you get the Butterfly Miraculous back to the Great Guardian?” Ladybug asked.

“Yep,” she replied.

“Good work! Do you think you could introduce us to him someday?”

“If he wants me to.”

“Fair enough. Anyway, see you around!”

Ladybug flashed her one last smile, before yoyo-ing away into the sunset, with Rena following. Those two really did make a great team. It seemed like two was a good number of superheroes to have together if things didn’t want to devolve into “leader and sidekicks”. Ladybug and Rena were partners, equals, teammates, friends, and Queen Cobra was… an acquaintance, maybe.

Just like she was as a civilian. Her classmates were easy to split up into friendship pairs. Unlike the very distant Nathaniel she wasn’t _lonely_ as such, but she certainly didn’t have a “teammate”. It was fine, really, it was. She wasn’t jealous or anything. Of course not. That would be stupid. Really stupid.

Never mind. Time to get back home before she got into trouble.

 

Except, of course, she did get into trouble.

“You said you’d be back 20 minutes ago!” her father sighed, looking down at her, disappointment written all over his face. He was always like that these days – did he not realize it hurt?

“Sorry,” she muttered.

“What were you even doing?!”

Being a superhero, duh. But saying that wouldn’t end well. The worst part was, she couldn’t even think of any excuses that wouldn’t land her in even more trouble. Going to the bakery? No, it would be closed by now, he knew that. Hanging out with a friend? Then he’d ask which friend, and knowing him, would literally call up their parents and ask. Another challenge with Kim? She couldn’t keep using him as an excuse, and anyway, that would make her father even more mad!

“If you’re not going to answer me, I suppose I’ll have to waive your rights to stay at home during the upcoming art promotion event.”

The upcoming…?

“What? No!”

“I have made up my mind. You’ll have to come along.”

“Dad, please, no,” she said, trying to sound like a good, adorable child who no one would ever refuse. It was not easy. “You promised I didn’t have to go to that.”

“And you promised you would be home on time, but here we are.”

“Oh come on! You know I hate those event thingies! They’re so boring! And the people are so mean, and I have to wear a…” She couldn’t even bring herself to say the word _dress_.

“They are necessary, and you really need to learn to attend more of them.”

“No I don’t! I don’t wanna be a museum person or some CEO or something when I grow up anyway, I don’t need to go to these things, they’re just a waste of time–”

“And maybe they’ll teach you some manners,” her father said firmly. “You’re not a little kid anymore, Alix. You’re 15 years old. It’s about time you started acting like it.”

Ohhh, did he always have to say that whenever she was being “bratty”? Wow, it was almost like 15 year olds had their own _choices_ and _opinions_ or something!

She was about to stomp her foot and say so when she realized something.

“Did you say… art promotion event?” she asked.

“Yes, I did.”

“Is it a big thing?”

“Yes.”

“So then… was Gabriel Agreste going to be there before he got chucked into jail like he deserves?”

“I believe so.”

“Sooooo, does that mean Adrien will be there instead?”

“I don’t know, why all these questions?”

Adrien would be there. That was bad for him, poor thing, but at least maybe this way it wouldn’t be quite as awful. And if she was going too, at least he could be reassured that there was someone there who did actually feel sorry for him. A secret superhero to protect him.

But if it was a big event then it was possible that she wouldn’t even bump into him while there. That had happened once before, when she and Chloé hadn’t even realized that they had been at the same gala until Chloé was bragging about it afterwards, since they simply hadn’t seen each other.

In that case there was only one thing for it.

“Adrien is my friend and needs support,” she said. “He can come over here before the event and we can take him there with us. I don’t want him there all alone. Is that okay?”

Friend was a bit of a strong word for Adrien, they were mostly just classmates who knew each other and got along alright, but then again he did now know a bigger secret about her than anyone else did. And calling him a friend might just persuade her father to let her do this. He had always thought of Adrien as much better than her – _why can’t you be more like Adrien? So polite and helpful all the time? He’s so responsible! You should try to be like that!_

Yeah, it was pretty clear her father wished he’d had Adrien as a child, rather than either Jalil or Alix. Especially after what had happened on her birthday. _Adrien_ would never have done what she did that day…

She looked up at her father, trying her very best not to look as angry as she was feeling. Temper management had never been one of her strong points.

“Oh, alright,” he said finally, sighing. “Maybe he can keep you under control better than I can.”

Hah, there was no way. Adrien was easily the kind of person who would let her do whatever she wanted, whether that was sock-sliding down empty corridors or spending all evening at the drinks table and refusing to talk to any of the other people there.

“Thank you so much!” she said, before running off upstairs to her room. She pulled out her phone and called up Adrien immediately.

“Alix?”

“I know I literally just spoke to you like twenty minutes ago,” she said quickly, “but I’m being forced to go to that art promotion thing on Tuesday evening, are you going to that?”

“The one at the museum? Yes, unfortunately I have to…”

“Well you’re not going alone and neither am I. Annoyed rebel kids team up. You can come over to my house beforehand and then go with us, okay? Then I won’t have to spend all evening looking for you while I’m there.”

“Really? You’d let me do that?” The happiness was easily perceivable in his voice. He sounded like a little kitten, honestly. It was kind of adorable.

“Definitely. I hate these events as much as you do.”

“Oh, thank you Alix! It’ll be nice to have a friend there.”

Hrmmm, friend…

“Do you know if Chloé will be there?” she asked quickly. Maybe if she was then she could be Adrien’s emotional support for once. Those two were friends, right? Sort of? Sometimes?

“I doubt it, this isn’t really the kind of event the mayor would be attending, so neither would Chloé.”

Dang it. “Aw, well, never mind. I’ll see you soon anyway.”

“Yes, see you soon, and thank you once again!”

“No problem. And talk to Nino!” she added hastily, before hanging up. Perhaps if he got to talk to someone else about his ridiculously tragic life before the event then she wouldn’t have to worry so much about him suddenly bursting into tears on her at any possible moment.

He had called her a friend, too. Okay, fine. A lot of people did. Marinette, Alya, Juleka, Rose, Ivan, Mylène, even Kim and Max occasionally…

Was he just being nice, as usual? Or did he mean it?

Eh, no point getting her hopes up. No one ever really meant it.

Scoot floated out of her pocket lazily. “Finally, you’re doing something right.”

She poked him. “I’m always right, string bean.”

“No, you’re always wrong. But I’m glad you’re going to help the Agreste boy. I’ve clearly been such a good influence on you.”

“Oh, be quiet. I’m gonna go talk to Jalil.”

“Fine, escape my wrath while you can!”

Scoot was so darn annoying all the time, always so unhelpful and unsupportive. But hearing him tell her for once that she was doing the right thing, well, it made her feel better than she wanted to admit. He was a kwami who had been alive for thousands of years. If he thought she was doing okay this time, then maybe she really was.


	3. The™ Plot™ Begins™

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone reading this has read Heely Beloved or Too Aro Ace For This and is having serious deja vu right now I'M SORRY, ADRILIX IS MY LIFE AND ALSO THERE ARE SOME TROPES ABOUT TOMBOYS THAT I, A TOMBOY, NEED TO SMASH OVER THE HEAD WITH A SHOVEL AND KILL FOREVER
> 
> (Also don't read those. Read this. This is better. This has no Shippy Nonsense™ so it's good. Yes, a fic called "Too Aro Ace For This" has Shippy Nonsense™. It's bad.)

Was “GUESS I’LL DIE” the appropriate response to being forced into wearing a dress?

It was hard to explain. Dresses were cool and all, they really were. They looked super pretty. It probably took a lot of effort to design nice ones, too. And people who actually liked wearing them were free to do so, they looked rad, everyone was happy, it was awesome, no problem.

But what was it about stupid, stuffy, rich people events that insisted on making people wear dresses no matter what? Even if they freaking _hated it?_

“Alix, can you stop being stubborn and just come downstairs already? Adrien’s waiting!”

She ignored her father and carried on sitting on the top step, picking the pins out of her hair and flicking them away haphazardly. It was nice of Scoot to attempt to put those in, or at least, it would have been nice if it wasn’t for the fact that she had told him not to do it, and then attempted to strangle him when he didn’t listen. It should just be common knowledge that forcing a tomboy to be feminine was inevitably going to result in someone’s death. Even Jalil knew to stay away during times like these.

Lucky him, he had too much homework and got to stay at home…

“Come on, we’re going to be late!”

Oh nooooo, what a shame! Too bad! She couldn’t stop herself from grinning, maybe a little evilly.

“Hurry up, will you?”

“It’s alright, I’ll go up and get her…” she heard Adrien saying, polite as always.

“Fine. I’m waiting in the car.”

Well, she had known she couldn’t stay here forever. But at least this way was better than that flipping teen movie thing, that – that _thing_ , where the ungirly character got all dolled up and went down the stairs dramatically in her fab outfit, and it turned out she was Pretty™ and Secretly Girly™ the whole time, and was now Liberated™ thanks to a Makeover™ and the Generic Hot Dude™ suddenly Liked™ her! Because _obviously_ that happened in real life too, of course, it wasn’t like maybe some people just _couldn’t stand this kind of thing_ or anything, that would be way too sensible, wouldn’t it? People like Rose were cool and all, but not everyone could be like her!

She heard her father leave through the front door, then heard Adrien’s footsteps getting closer before seeing him get to the foot of the stairs. Oh right, so _he_ was allowed to wear a nice comfy suit, was he?

“Alix?” He looked up at her, seeming surprised to see that she was just sitting there with what must have been a rather murderous expression. “Oh there you are, um, your father says we’re going to be late, so…”

She didn’t budge. Who cared if they were late? Not her.

He walked up the stairs towards her, sitting down beside her at the top. “You… you look…”

_JUST SAY I LOOK PRETTY BITCH I DARE YOU…_

“…uncomfortable.”

Oh. Well that was a lot more accurate. She looked over to see that he was frowning in concern.

“Uncomfortable is an understatement,” she said, hoping her voice didn’t sound as fiery as she was feeling.

“You don’t seem happy.”

“I would be happier if I was dead and buried.”

His eyes widened for a few seconds. Whoops. Maybe no more morbid humour around this kid for a while.

“You know,” he said, back to normal, “the modelling work I do, it wasn’t exactly my choice. First I did it to make my father happy. Now I’m only carrying on to stop the company going under. And a lot of people tell me I’m great at it, that I look amazing, things like that. And they mean it as a compliment. But it still hurts to hear it, because, well… it’s not _me_ , I guess. They’re complimenting a lie, complimenting something I’m not proud of. Sure, maybe someone looks nice. But they’re always going to look nicer when they’re happier, right? Do you know what I mean?”

Heck yeah, she knew what he meant. In fact, she was pretty sure he was one of the only people who got it. Compliments for things you hated were never exactly real compliments, were they? No matter the intentions of the people giving them.

_Oh, but you look so pretty, you should learn to appreciate it! You should wear dresses more often! Be nicer to yourself!_ Well maybe some people should just shut up sometimes! It was hard enough already being eaten alive by guilt that maybe your whole personality was just internalized misogyny or something, like everyone accused you of, when in reality it was just being different and wanting to be accepted for it!

For the moment, though, she was just pleasantly surprised that he had mentioned his father without bursting into tears. Maybe he was starting to finally come to terms with it.

Scoot flew out of the pocket that this cursed dress thankfully had, his little kwami tail shaking in fury. “Alix, you’re the one who’s supposed to be the emotional support! This poor boy has been through such a lot lately and you’re throwing a tantrum over wearing a dress, he shouldn’t be having to comfort you over this when–”

“I thought I strangled you,” Alix snapped, holding his tail to stop him flying around everywhere.

“Are you taking Scoot with you?” Adrien asked.

“Unfortunately. I have to take him everywhere in case there’s ever an emergency and I gotta transform.”

“Oh, interesting! And um, I actually remembered another question I had, I checked on the Snakeboards first but I didn’t find it, so… what’s your Miraculous? I know Ladybug’s is her earrings and Rena’s is her necklace, but Hawk M– well, _my father_ , never really seemed to want yours.”

Now he was starting to look upset again, having to think about his father, though this time further along the _mad_ end of smad. Alix lifted up the hem of the dress slightly and pointed at her shoes.

“Your… Heelys?” he asked, rather hesitantly.

“Yeah! Isn’t that cool? No way your rotten trash dumpster of a dad would have been expecting that.”

“The Snake Miraculous is certainly _not_ Heelys!” Scoot said, breaking free of Alix’s grasp at last. “This foolish girl merely pretends, because she thinks it funny somehow.”

“Oh, fine. This is the actual Miraculous.” She pulled out the green thread that was interwoven between the pink shoelaces. “It’s usually meant to be a bracelet or something, ‘cause it looks like a snake eating its tail when it’s tied properly. But personally I think Heelys are way cooler than vore. So I just push it into my laces instead and just wear these shoes everywhere all the time. Good thing this dress is long enough to hide them, huh?”

Adrien’s face broke into a smile, for once in the history of ever. For a kid who the class often referred to as the living embodiment of sunshine, he sure was gloomy. To be fair he did have a reason to be gloomy. But at least he was smiling pretty genuinely right now.

“That’s really cool,” he said.

“Yeah, well I am really cool, and if you’re gonna be my friend then you have to accept it.”

“I definitely do!”

“Good!”

So they were properly friends now? Nice. Alix pushed the thread back into her laces, feeling the same kind of fuzzy happiness inside that she did when she bought new video games. At least now she didn’t have to pretend video games were her friends, right? She had a real one, right here.

“May I remind you two that you are going to be in a lot of trouble if you don’t go downstairs and to the car very soon?” Scoot drawled, looking far too smug. Alix just grabbed him and shoved him back into her pocket. She had practically forgotten that her dad was waiting for them in the car, probably getting more furious by the second. Oops.

“Come on then,” she said, standing up finally and trying to ignore how ridiculously uncomfortable she felt in this awful stiff dress. At least she didn’t have to wear high heels or makeup or anything, since neither her father nor Jalil were experts in those matters, and Alix sure as heck wasn’t. She couldn’t help wondering – would her mother have been good at that stuff? Would she mind that Alix didn’t like it?

No use thinking about it. She would never know.

They made their way to the car and got in. Her father didn’t say anything at all. Was he mad at her? Yeah, probably. Nothing new there. After what had happened to that pocket watch, he would never be happy with her again, that was for sure.

 

The event was boring, as always. There were lots of snooty rich people around, talking to each other about things that didn’t matter, pretending they cared about what everyone else had to say but secretly being more interested in the champagne they were holding. It was too warm in here with so many people. And wasn’t this supposed to be an art promotion event? Where the heck was all the art then?! This whole thing was just for the business people to network, that was all. Art clearly had nothing to do with it.

It took at least half an hour before Alix’s father let her and Adrien leave his side, by which point they were getting very sick of constantly being introduced to a lot of “influential” people who they were certainly never going to remember. Adrien was good at being polite, and had that charming smile and friendly voice that automatically made people seem to like him. Alix, on the other hand…

“You really could smile more, you know,” her father told her eventually, after yet another conversation with some boring rich person where she had spent the entire time silently sulking.

“Maybe I’d be smiling more if I didn’t have to wear this thing,” she muttered. “Now can me and Adrien _please_ go get a snack? I’m genuinely losing brain cells right now.”

“But you won’t come back, knowing you, and you’ll end up arguing with someone who–”

“I’m starving and about to die of malnutrition, and anyway, why are you worried? I’ve got Adrien Politeness-Personified Agreste with me. He knows what to do at these event thingies.” She clung to Adrien’s sleeve and pointed at him. “Ta-da. No problems.”

“I am getting a little hungry,” Adrien added, still sounding polite as ever. Yes! Good child! She wanted to high five him, though that would probably ruin everything, so definitely not a good idea right now.

“Alright,” her father sighed. “But please, just don’t do anything… irresponsible.”

“I won’t, don’t worry, thanks dad!” she said, turning around and immediately Heelying off, with Adrien tagging along. Did Heelying count as irresponsible? Eh, whatever. It looked cool.

They hoarded a bunch of food from the snacks table, then headed towards the quieter, more open outer areas of the hall to feast in relative peace. If fewer people were around then surely they wouldn’t get bombarded with insincere introductions and flimsy business cards every two seconds. Plus, most people would hopefully pay no attention to two unimportant teenagers, not when there were plenty of other actually rich people around to go mooch money and favours from.

“How did my dad always cope, going to these kinds of events every week?” Adrien asked, shaking his head in disbelief. “It’s so stifling!”

“I know, right?” Alix wondered if she should change the subject. Talking about Gabriel Agreste was probably a risky idea in a place where everyone would be able to see Adrien cry, and knowing how stuck-up they all were, probably judge him too.

“At least he doesn’t have to worry about that anymore,” he continued, taking a bite of his sandwich. “And neither does my mother, I guess, wherever she is…”

Two things struck her at once. The first was that Adrien Agreste was actually _speaking with his mouth full._ Wasn’t that bad manners? Wasn’t Adrien allergic to bad manners? Was he really doing this?

The second was that she had forgotten that Adrien’s mother was “missing”, not dead. It had never really registered in her head. Would that feel worse than knowing for sure she was dead? Having some hope that somewhere out there, she might be alive, but you might never see her again?

“What is it with all us rich kids not having mothers?” Adrien continued, chuckling slightly, half of that sandwich still in his mouth. “Me, you, Chloé, we’re the no-mothers-squad…”

Did he just…?

“What?” he asked.

He did, didn’t he?

“Was that… dark humour?” she said.

His smile vanished instantly. “Oh, I’m sorry! I just assumed you’d be okay with it – should I not joke about that?”

“Dude, of course you can joke about that! I love jokes about death and tragedy and stuff, my favourite, honestly. I was just surprised to hear it coming from _you_ , that’s all.”

He grinned, finishing off the rest of his sandwich. “I do have a sense of humour, you know.”

Oh, thank goodness. “So am I allowed to make really awful jokes now?”

“Yes please, I could really use some cheering up!”

“Awesome.” She cracked her knuckles. “First of all, I’ve been wanting to tell you this since the other day but I thought it was a bit too soon. So like, you know how no one knew who Hawk Moth was until Rena tracked him down, right? Well for a while me and Jalil suspected it might be our dad.”

Adrien let out a giggle, which he quickly tried to stifle. “Really? Why?”

“No idea, we just came up with it one day and then rolled with it. Though if he had really been Hawk Moth, that would be awful, because… well…”

“Because he akumatized your brother,” Adrien said quietly.

“Huh? Oh, not that. We just thought the idea of his moustache being fake was too horrifying to contemplate. ‘Cause like, Hawk Moth wears a full mask, right? And there’s no way that would fit over a moustache, so we were freaking out over it, it was wild…”

He was back to laughing again now. “That’s hilarious! Though I suppose transforming with the Miraculous might change your appearance somewhat anyway. I mean – does it?” He looked around a little, noting the few people nearby. “Uh, maybe I’ll ask more about that some other time.”

“Yeah. Good idea.” If he had more questions about superhero stuff, a crowded hall was probably not the best place to ask them.

“ADRIEN AGRESTE!”

They turned to see some generic posh-looking business adult person walking towards them. Who the heck was this guy? And what did he want? Alix had just been trying to have a snack and conversation with her cool new friend, she didn’t need some random stranger interrupting like that. Jeez.

“M. Durand, is that you?” Adrien said, his tone shifting immediately back into that polite, goody-two-shoes one he had been using earlier. It sounded pretty unnatural now, despite the fact that Alix was so used to hearing it.

The rich dude, M. Durand apparently, came to a stop in front of them and held out his hand for Adrien to shake, which he did. This guy was tall, really tall, towering over them. (Well, to be fair, _everyone_ towered over Alix. But this dude towered over Adrien too, so he definitely counted as tall.)

“Good to see you again, my boy. How are you getting along?”

“I’m well, thank you, how about you?”

That was the most blatant lie ever. Adrien Agreste was certainly not doing well. Better, sure, but not quite well. And unnecessary conversations with boring people he obviously didn’t like was probably not going to help him. Alix wished this stranger would just hurry up and go away again so she could carry on making her sad friend laugh in peace.

“I had a little bit of a question for you,” M. Durand said, his eyes darting from side to side in a way that set alarm bells ringing in her head. “It’s to do with your father. If it’s alright to ask, that is.”

“Um… of course.” So in other words, no, but Adrien was too polite to say so.

“Ah. Maybe it would be better, since this matter is clandestine, if no one else were to overhear. Just to be on the safe side. It is what your father would want.”

That had been the total wrong thing to say, since she could sense Adrien standing up a little taller next to her.

“It doesn’t seem like anyone else is around to overhear,” he said, plastering that fake smile on his face.

“But…” M. Durand’s eyes flicked over to Alix for a split-second.

“So, M. Durand, what did you want to ask me?” Adrien said firmly, sounding more confident. But then she felt him secretly slip his hand into hers behind the folds of her dress, his fingers shaking slightly – he was _nervous_. Was that just because he didn’t like having to discuss things about his father’s business? Or was this dodgy rich dude giving him bad vibes? Because seriously, it was feeling a lot like the latter.

M. Durand frowned for a few seconds, looking down on them with an air that was less than cordial, before hurrying to make himself seem fake-friendly again. “Oh, I just wanted to know if you knew something about a certain possession of mine that your father borrowed. He was supposed to give it back to me but as he is currently unavailable, he hasn’t been able to, and I really need it urgently.”

“What was this possession?” Adrien asked, his grip on Alix’s hand tightening slightly. She was intrigued now – what was it going to be? A rad weapon? Some cool historic old-timey item that had luckily not been smashed to pieces by carelessness? Something illegal? Oh, please say it was something illegal, then she could totally go all Queen Cobra and arrest this annoying guy.

“A ring,” M. Durand replied.

Oh. A ring. That was lame.

Adrien was frowning, lost in thought. “Hmm, that doesn’t ring any bells… What does this ring look like? Do you know where he might have kept it?”

“The ring is just small and silver, no markings on it. Unfortunately I have no clue where he kept it, other than that it must be somewhere in your house.”

“I suppose I’ll have a look for it…”

“Thank you, please do. Let me know if you find it. Don’t tell anyone else, if that’s alright, anyone with enough wealth as my family or yours will always have… enemies. It’s better if people don’t know about this.”

Well, that was the most ominous, suspicious way of asking for someone to look for their jewellery. _Hey, your dad borrowed a ring off me and I want it back, but YOU HAVE TO NOT TELL ANYONE BECAUSE IT’S A SUPER SECRET, BUT TOTALLY NOT DODGY AT ALL! :)_

“I’ll make sure not to tell anyone,” Adrien said, his fingers starting to shake again. His palms were getting a bit sweaty too… ew. Alix was _not_ used to holding hands with people.

“Excellent! Oh, and one more thing. If you do find the ring, do me a favour and _don’t_ put it on. Trust me on this one. Just get it straight back to me, and I can sort things out from there. Got it?”

Adrien just nodded.

“Great job, kid. Keep up the good work!”

With that, the annoying dodgy guy turned and left. Straightaway she felt Adrien relax beside her, as if he had been tensed up. He loosened his grip on her hand a little but did not let go.

“Who was that pretentious creep?” she asked.

“A friend of my father’s,” he replied, and she was relieved to hear his voice go back to its normal, natural self. “Well, I say friend, but… it’s more like they worked together a lot. I don’t know him that well at all.”

“Well he seems like a loser,” she scoffed. “I don’t trust him.”

“Neither do I. I really don’t know what ring he’s talking about though, or why he wants it so much.”

“It’s the One Ring obviously,” Alix said, hoping this would lighten the mood a little. “He wants it for its power. You have to find it and take it to Mordor and drop it in Mount Doom before he steals it. And that’s why he told you not to put it on, ‘cause he wants the power for himself.”

Adrien laughed. “You know what? Considering how weird my life has been lately, I wouldn’t even be surprised if that was true.”

A little silver ring… something was vaguely registering in the back of her mind. It sounded familiar. It sounded _important_. But why? She just couldn’t figure it out. Every time she got close to an answer, it would just elude her again. Why was her brain trying to convince her that there was more to this ring, seriously? Was that just a really screwed-up sense of intuition? Or was it something that she knew, but just couldn’t remember quite right…?

“Alix? What are you thinking about?” He waved a hand in front of her face.

“My spidey-senses are tingling,” she said, narrowing her eyes.

“You mean your snakey-senses?”

“Yeah, whatever. I’m suspicious. There’s more to this ring story than just your dad borrowing it off dodgy dude and him wanting it back. I’m sure of it.”

Unexpectedly, his face lit up. “So are you gonna investigate?”

“Hmm, dunno. Investigating was always Rena’s thing. But it would be fun to go spy on that Durand guy and see what kind of evil, malicious thing he’s planning to do with this mysterious ring once he gets hold of it. Like taking over Middle Earth, or maybe making a horcrux.”

“You know, I didn’t realize you were that nerdy.”

“I grew up with Jalil, of course I’m nerdy.”

“So anyway, are you gonna–” he lowered his voice “–transform?”

She looked around. “Well obviously not here, since there’s like a million people. I’d have to go somewhere else, and then once I’m transformed, if anyone sees me they’re gonna ask what I’m doing here, and it’ll be a lot of effort and I probably won’t find out anything anyway.”

“Oh…”

“But dude, if you wanna see me transform, I’ll totally show you sometime.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, sure. I kinda always wanted to show off to someone about that, you have no idea how _frustrating_ it is that I can’t just tell Kim that I could beat him up easy-peasy, like maybe he doesn’t take me seriously ‘cause I’m tiny, but I’m a freaking superhero and could easily snap his neck–”

She stopped when she realized he was looking rather shocked.

“I’m not going to actually snap anyone’s neck, I promise,” she said, a little more softly. “I just talk like that.”

He seemed a little more at ease now. “Yeah, I’m still getting used to that, I guess…”

“Anyway, you wanted to see me transform, right? I guess I could quickly show you if we can find an area where there’s no people around.”

“What, now?”

“Yep!”

Since he was still clinging onto her hand for reassurance, she simply pulled him along with her as she went Heelying off towards the corridors leading to the rest of this building, where there were probably fewer people.

This was one of those irresponsible, not-thinking-it-through things that she was doing right now, wasn’t it? Oh well, too bad. Being able to talk to someone other than Fu, kwamis or Jalil about superhero stuff was way too much fun. And maybe this would be encouraging for Adrien too, to inspire him, remind him that there was a superhero on his side no matter what!

It didn’t take too long to find an empty corner down some deserted corridor somewhere. Alix knew from experience that if they went too far into the building then they’d probably come across security guards telling them to go away and stop trespassing, so here seemed like a good place. There weren’t any security cameras around to spot her either. She let Scoot out of her pocket.

“You’re a fool!” he shrieked immediately. Nothing new there.

“I know that, but what’s the reason this time?” she asked.

“The Cat Miraculous is a silver ring.”

“Pffffff, no it’s not, it’s black. With like, little green dots on it.”

“There’s a Cat Miraculous?” Adrien asked, a huge smile on his face.

“There certainly is,” Scoot said, “and it’s _silver_. So if someone is asking for a silver ring that your father owned and that they want urgently, and they don’t want you to put it on, that sounds very much like the Cat Miraculous to me.”

“But the Cat Miraculous is definitely black, I swear!” Alix said, trying to think back to pictures and things that Fu had occasionally shown her. She never remembered the ring being silver.

“You really don’t know anything, do you? Anyway, that’s not the only reason you’re a fool. The other is that this is really a terrible time and place to be transforming. There’s no emergency, and it’s been long enough that you two had better get back to that main hall before you get into trouble.”

“I’m just gonna show him, that’s all. It’ll be quick.”

Scoot sighed. “Fine, but you are using the proper transformation words this time.”

“What? No way, those are boring.”

“What transformation words?” Adrien asked.

“Whenever this wretch wants to transform into Queen Cobra, she must say the words ‘scales on’ or ‘transform me’, at which point I will be absorbed into her Miraculous and she will be transformed into a superhero. But she refuses to use the proper phrases.”

“Fu said I don’t have to,” Alix said. “As long as the meaning is clear, I can say whatever the heck I want. Last time it was ‘snake me up inside’, which is pretty rad if you ask me. And the time before that it was ‘what’s good longboy’ which is possibly the greatest thing I have ever said in my life.”

“More like the worst thing…”

“Hey Adrien! What do you suggest I say this time?”

Surprisingly, he barely even needed to think for a second. “Wear Heelys to escape your feelies.”

Wear Heelys to…

She couldn’t help bursting into laughter.

“It’s one of my favourite memes,” he added, a strangely un-Adrien-like grin on his face.

“I never expected you to be someone who likes memes, wow…”

“What can I say? They _meme_ a lot to me.”

“Did you just make a pun?”

Adrien nodded, his eyes sparkling. “I just think puns are kinda cool…”

“Dude, you are _way_ cooler than I ever thought you were.”

“Really?”

“Heck yeah!”

“Aw, well you’re a lot friendlier than I ever thought you were, so–”

“Ahem,” Scoot said, floating up between them. “If you’re going to transform then I suggest you get it over with, because I have better things I could be doing than listening to your chaotic attempts at friendship. Like taking a nap.”

Well that wouldn’t do. Kwamis didn’t even need to sleep, for goodness’ sake. Alix finally let go of Adrien’s hand and took a step back.

“Scoot, _wear Heelys to escape your feelies!”_

A flash of light later, and she was standing there as Queen Cobra. Transforming right in front of someone was kind of weird – even with the occasional person who knew her secret identity, she still tended to do it in hiding. But the look on Adrien’s face was worth it.

“That was… that… you…”

“Awesome, huh?”

He nodded. “That was _amazing!_ Like real magic!”

“And the most important thing is that I’m taller now. Still not as tall as you, but closer.”

“Well…” He looked up at the giant snake hood that rested over her head, casting a concealing shadow over her face and hair. “If you count that thing, you’re taller.”

“Oh yeah, good point! I’m finally taller than someone.”

“So how exactly do all your powers work? Is Scoot still there?” He sounded so excited, like a little kid in a sweet shop. Such a pleasant contrast to his normal depressing self.

“Scoot is luckily not there now,” she replied. “He’s fused with my Miraculous now, so he has to keep his mouth shut until I de-transform. He can totally hear everything though, so feel free to insult him.”

Adrien was staring down at the skates now. “So the Miraculous… is it like… one of those lines on the front of the skate?”

“I really should not be telling this to the son of frickin’ _Hawk Moth_ , but yeah. That one right there is the Miraculous.”

He bent down to take a closer look. For a few seconds she was ready to throw out a kick and send him flying if he tried to take it. Not that he would, but hey, he was Hawk Moth’s son…

“So what are your other powers?” Adrien asked, standing up again. “Like your tail – that works kind of like Ladybug’s yoyo, right?”

“I guess it does.” She curled her tail up into her hand and turned on the hidden screen that was near the end of it. “It’s stretchy, I can move it however I want, I can feel it, it’s basically like another arm but without opposable thumbs. Oh yeah, and it has a phone on it too.”

“Whoa…”

“It also has retractable spikes, so if someone tries to grab it then they’re gonna be in for a nasty shock. Like this.”

Adrien watched in wonder as she suddenly sprung all the spikes out, the scales on the tail all standing up on end.

“So yeah. And I use my skates to go fast, and can super-leap really far, more resistant to damage, the domino mask can’t be removed, all the normal hero stuff. That’s how my powers work.”

“Wow… and what about your special power?”

“Uh, special power?”

“Yeah! Like Ladybug and Rena have! I was researching on the Ladyblog earlier, Ladybug’s is called ‘Lucky Charm’, you know, that thing. I looked for what yours was but it didn’t say.”

“That’s ‘cause I’ve never used mine.”

“Really? Why not?”

She took a deep breath. “It’s kinda… bad.”

“As in, deadly bad?”

“Sort of.”

She wasn’t really supposed to tell anyone about it. But then again, no one was supposed to know her secret identity, and that had gone down the drain…

“It’s called Venom Strike,” she said, deciding to trust Adrien for now and hope it wasn’t the wrong choice. “I can use it to… um… paralyze someone indefinitely.”

He was looking a little weirded out. Yeah, made sense. Venom Strike was apparently not the most destructive of special powers a Miraculous holder could have, but it still wasn’t anywhere as nice as Lucky Charm.

“There’s only one way to remove the paralysis,” she continued. “The Turtle Miraculous holder has to use their healing powers.”

“So that’s Master Fu,” he replied. Oh, so he knew Fu was an old-man-mutant-ninja-turtle? Or maybe he had just figured it out from seeing Wayzz back at Fu’s shop.

“Yep. Even Ladybug can’t heal it when she does her thing with the Lucky Charm, you know the thing.”

Adrien nodded. Everyone knew the thing. It was the power that Ladybug had to fix all damage, to heal all injuries, even bring back people from the dead. But it couldn’t fix venom paralysis.

“So that’s why I never use it,” she finished. “And now I guess I’d better transform back before someone comes along and sees me, ‘cause it’s been long enough. Scoot, scales off.”

Another flash, and she was back to normal. Scoot whizzed out of the thread on her Heelys and started grumbling about something straightaway, so she just put him inside her pocket. She really didn’t need to deal with his pessimism right now, thanks.

“Thank you for showing me,” Adrien said, looking genuinely pleased. “That was so interesting.”

“Well you’d better not tell anyone, or you’re getting a Venom Strike right to the face.”

“I won’t tell anyone, I promise. And if I do then you can definitely Venom Strike me.”

She smiled, but the thought of Venom Striking anyone at all was unpleasant. Especially Adrien. He was her friend now, right? She couldn’t help feeling protective of him. He was practically the last person she would ever want to Venom Strike.

“You’re honestly so powerful,” Adrien was saying now. “Even as a civilian you’re the quickest kid in our class, and as a hero you’re, well, a hero!”

“Heck yeah I am!” Oh, compliments… she could get used to this. Friendship, admiration, loyalty – this was the best mood she had been in for a long time.

“It’s a good thing you never got akumatized, or Ladybug and Rena Rouge would have had so much trouble dealing with you!”

Aaaaaaand the mood went straight back down.

“Hey, are you alright?”

It must have shown on her face. She tried to look normal again. “Yeah, I’m just… well, Miraculous holders can’t get akumatized.”

“Oh, well that’s a good thing then, right?”

“Haha, yeah, it is. Come on Adrien, we’ve gotta get back now.” She grabbed his hand and pulled him along towards the main hall without even thinking about it, ignoring his puzzled look.

She was a Miraculous holder, and she couldn’t get akumatized, that was true enough. But that wasn’t necessarily a good thing.

It didn’t mean that she had never _wanted_ to be akumatized.

It would be impossible to ever forget the feeling of kneeling on the ground of the Trocadéro, holding the shattered remains of her family’s pocket watch in her hands, unable to stop crying, blaming everything and everyone around her and never herself, and most of all just _desperately_ wishing Hawk Moth would akumatize her so that maybe she had a chance to get revenge, maybe she had a chance to get her watch back, somehow, _something!_

But she never got that chance. And since that day, the only birthday she never wanted to remember, things were different. The precious heirloom that had been entrusted to her was gone forever. Her father, despite saying otherwise, had never forgiven her. And once enough time had gone by for it to really sink in, she had never forgiven herself either.

If she hadn’t been a Miraculous holder, if she had been akumatized on that day… would things be different? _Better?_

It was too painful to think about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That annoying generic rich business dude is totally that one random guy from the Pixelator/Numeric episode who yelled "GO CHAT NOIR!" (or something) at the total wrong moment and RUINED EVERYTHING, like THANKS A LOT you LOSER, WAY TO GO, I'm making you a LOWKEY VILLAIN in my fic now cause you're ANNOYING


	4. All background characters are officially evil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to MY AWESOME FRIEND MADDIE!!! (@randomestfandoms) Happy birthday you super cool bean!!! I know I hadn't updated this in forever and probably wasn't going to for a while but then when I found out it was going to be your birthday I was suddenly like "hmMMMmmmm I am sUDdeNLy in the mOod to wriTE ThiS???" because honestly all the nice things you had to say about this story really motivated me, so thank you for that, and I hope you enjoy this chapter too <3

Late the next morning, Alix was awoken by Scoot yelling in her ear, “YOUR PHONE IS RINGING!”

She batted the stupid kwami away and turned over, not even bothering to open her eyes. “Yeah, that’s why I put it on _silent_ , so I can be asleep and ignore it. Now go away.”

“But it’s Adrien.”

Oh, well why didn’t he say so first?! That was different! Maybe the poor kid was having a sad moment again and still refused to inconvenience Nino about it. She grabbed her phone off the table next to her and answered. “What’s up?”

“Hey armrest, glad to hear you’re awake for once!”

Pffff, that wasn’t Adrien. She finally opened her eyes and looked at the phone screen to see that the call was from Arch Nemesis #1, and that Scoot was cackling away just out of arm’s reach. She made a throat-cutting motion at him, planning to flush him down the toilet later when she had woken up enough to actually get up, and turned her attention back to the phone call. “What do you want, Kim?”

“Just checking that you haven’t forgotten about the noodle challenge later today.”

“Of course I haven’t,” she lied, quickly glancing at the clock to check how much time she had left before that. One hour? Really? There was no way she was getting out of bed before then, not when Scoot had interrupted her sleep so cruelly. “Actually I was thinking, can we postpone it until–”

“This is the third time we’ve had to reschedule! You’re not _scared_ , are you?”

“Of course not!” she snapped. “The other two times were because of akuma attacks, that wasn’t my fault!”

“Well you can’t use that excuse anymore, so if you don’t turn up then I’ll assume I’ve won. Is that alright, armrest?”

“Ohhh, fine. And stop calling me armrest.”

“Sure. See you later, munchkin.”

He hung up before she could say anything else. The first thing she did was turn to Scoot and stick a finger up at him.

“I’ll kill you in real life, Scoot.”

Scoot just chuckled and floated a little further away. “Maybe have another check of your phone! You got a message, too.”

Stuffing her murderous rage back down, she looked at her phone again. Sure enough, there was a message, and it was indeed from Adrien this time.

_Can you please come over? Something weird just happened!_

Oh, so he did need something after all. It was probably best to visit him as soon as possible.

But the noodle challenge… only an hour away…

Would she have time to go visit Adrien first? Whatever the issue was, it was probably far more important than some stupid challenge, but then again she had waited so long for the opportunity to legally beat up Kim with a foam pool noodle…

Never mind. Adrien was counting on her. She would just have to be super quick, that was all. And for that, she needed the help of…

“Scoot!” She leapt out of bed and ran over, but the silly kwami flew too high for her to reach. “Get over here, I need to transform.”

“Oh really? Then what about your murderous threats earlier? Do you only keep me around because I’m _useful_ , Alix?”

“No! I’m… I’m sorry for threatening to kill you. There, is that better?”

“Hmm, a little bit.” Scoot floated a tad lower, though still too high to reach. “But in any case I haven’t eaten in at least a week. I’d need food before I can transform.”

Oh come on, Scoot didn’t need to eat! It wasn’t like Queen Cobra ever used her special powers, unlike Ladybug and Rena. “I don’t have time to give you food right now. You eat way too slowly.”

“Then I suppose you’ll have to deal with Queen Cobra being woefully underpowered, won’t you?”

“I don’t have time for this.” She sighed. “Okay, look. You can hide in my hat or pocket or something and I’ll take a dead mouse with me and you can eat it along the way. Is that fine?”

He finally came back down to eye level. “Much better.”

“Good. But before we go…” She grabbed him in her hand, causing him to let out a little squeak, and then headed off towards the bathroom with an evil grin on her face. “Revenge.”

“What…? No, no, no! You’re not flushing me down the toilet! NO!”

“Relax, dude, I’m kidding. I’m just gonna brush my teeth.”

Scoot shook himself free. “Oh, thank goodness…”

 

 

They were at the front gates of the Agreste mansion around 25 minutes later. Alix had worn her civilian rollerskates to get there fast enough, and Scoot was currently in her pocket munching on the dead corpse of some unfortunate rodent. She rang the bell and was let in by Adrien’s glorified babysitter Nathalie – though on the condition that she took her skates off first.

By the time she actually got past all of the security and into Adrien’s room she only had 30 minutes left before the noodle challenge. Taking travel times into account, it was more like 15 minutes. Hopefully this wasn’t going to take too long.

Adrien leapt to his feet with a piece of paper in hand and ran over. “Alix! I’m so glad you’re here! Uh…” He stared very pointedly at Nathalie until she sighed and left the room, closing the door behind her. “Okay good, she’s gone. Anyway, I just received this letter today, and it’s about the ring again. Take a look.”

Alix took the letter and skimmed over it. It seemed to be a letter from that annoying rich guy again, asking the same things as yesterday, the whole _“oh hey can I have my ring back if you find it? Also don’t tell anyone or put it on! This isn’t suspicious!”_

“Isn’t this from that guy from yesterday?” she asked.

“No, that was M. Durand. This is Durande, with an E. Another one of the people my father did business with.”

“Really? Another one?” All these boring rich people seemed exactly the same, right down to their surnames, almost like they were just lame palette swaps of one another with no real individual character or personality.

“It’s so strange,” Adrien said. “This man says that the ring belongs to him. But so did M. Durand yesterday. One of them must be lying!”

“Or both,” Alix suggested.

“True! But then why do they want it so much?”

“Because it’s the Cat Miraculous,” Scoot muttered from inside Alix’s pocket.

“Be quiet,” she said, giving him a poke. “Just eat your food.”

“So what do we do?” Adrien asked.

“No idea. Maybe have a look for the ring and then wear it yourself.”

His face lit up. “Imagine if it really is the Cat Miraculous, though. Wouldn’t that be so _paw_ -some?”

Alix resisted the urge to smack him over the head. “If it really is, then it’s probably best to give it back to Fu like a good, responsible child.”

“Oh yes, of course…”

There was a knock at the door, and Nathalie entered again without waiting for a reply. “Adrien, there’s another guest here to see you.”

“Who is it?”

“Someone by the name of M. Durant.”

“Not another one!” He crossed his arms. “Tell him I’m busy. I don’t want to see him.”

“He is very persistent.”

“Tell him I already know what he wants, and other people have already been asking me the same thing so he’s not getting it.”

Nathalie frowned, for a second looking as if she were about to ask what this was all about, but then resumed her usual neutral expression. “Very well.” With that, she turned and left once more.

“This is getting out of hand,” Adrien said, looking worried. “If my father’s ring really is something special, I don’t want to give it to any of these people. But then what will they do? And anyway, I don’t even know where the ring is!”

“We need a metal detector,” Alix suggested.

“Um… but there’s lots of metal things in this house. And the ring might not even be metal.”

“Then we need a wizard.”

He laughed, a very un-Adrien-like laugh that she was still unaccustomed to hearing. “You’re not very good at taking things seriously, are you?”

Of course she wasn’t. And that was why she was also very good at messing up. “Sorry, I’m just–”

“No, I don’t mind! I like it. Without Nino here, everything’s serious again in my life.” He put a hand on her shoulder. “I need someone to share my bad puns with.”

Sincere heartfelt affection was also something she was unaccustomed to hearing – at least from people who weren’t Jalil. Probably best to say something equally kind in return.

“Um… cool beans,” she said, finger-gunning at him. And then wanted to punch herself in the face. Luckily she was spared from further embarrassment by the entrance of Nathalie, yet again.

“M. Durant asked me to give you this,” she said, holding out a little envelope at Adrien. “He claims that it is urgent, and extremely confidential.”

“Thank you, Nathalie,” Adrien said, taking the letter, his smile vanishing. “He’s gone now, right?”

“Yes.” Nathalie began to leave, but turned back for a second at the door. “Adrien, if I may ask… what is going on?”

“Um… they all want money. People keep turning up saying they lent some to father and that he never gave it back, and now…”

“I see. Would you like me to double check the balances to make sure that no one is owed any money, and print the receipts for proof in case this happens again?”

He nodded. “Yes please. That would be great. If it’s no trouble.”

“It isn’t.” She walked out of the room and closed the door. Adrien immediately let out a relieved breath.

“I don’t know if she fell for that,” he admitted. “Anyway, I guess I’ll see what’s in this new letter now…”

He tore it open and began reading it. Alix went up on tiptoes to look at it over his shoulder. It was handwritten and a little messy, almost as if the guy had written it on the spot outside the door. And it was _not_ very friendly.

“ _The ring rightfully belongs to me, and if I hear you’ve given it to any other imposters that claim it, then there will be consequences…_ ” Adrien read aloud, his face blanching. “Everyone wants this ring so much – I think this is a threat! What am I going to do?”

“Um, do you want a silly suggestion or a sensible suggestion?”

Despite his nervousness, he smiled a little. “Silly, please.”

“Alright. You should invite them all over and then lock them in the courtyard and tell them it’s a Hunger Games. Whoever’s alive at the end gets to keep the ring.”

He giggled a little. “How do you even come up with this stuff? Have you got any more silly ideas?”

“Hmm… You could make it into a treasure hunt. Let them scour the house and whoever finds the ring gets to keep it. Also hide little chocolates everywhere to make it more fun. Or it could be a tournament! With like chess and jousting and stuff. And at the end they have to fight me.”

“You just want an excuse to fight them, don’t you?”

“…Maybe.”

“She always wants an excuse to fight people,” Scoot said, still inside Alix’s pocket. “For example, she’s about 10 seconds away from ditching you to go fight her panther friend, so–”

“Shush! Be quiet!” She slammed her hand over the pocket, hoping she was smothering him. “First of all, Kim isn’t my friend. Second of all, I’m not just ditching Adrien. Well, maybe a little bit. But not because I want to!”

“It’s alright, you can ditch me,” Adrien laughed. “I wouldn’t want you to lose a challenge because of me! But um, before you go… what should I do now? Any advice?”

Alix tried to think of something sensible, but her brain was running blank. Ladybug and Rena were the ones who were good at being sensible. Not her.

“Be safe,” she said, internally cringing over how cliché that sounded. “If this ring thing is so serious that people are threatening you over it, you should probably stay inside the house. At least until I think of something better and get back to you.”

His face fell. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. It might be dangerous for you outside and I’m not having you getting kidnapped and ransomed or anything, that’s such a stereotypical rich-kid-thing to happen and it’s also really lame and probably not very fun. So stay here for now.”

“You’re keeping me inside indefinitely?!”

“Not indefinitely! Just…” She glanced at her watch. “Look, I really have to go. Maybe have a look for the ring while you’re here. See you later, okay?”

Seeing the hurt expression on his face was hitting her with a rather annoying sense of guilt, so she quickly turned away and headed out of the door. What was so bad about being stuck inside for a while, anyway? Even as an outdoorsy person, Alix got grounded all the time and she was easily used to it. It wasn’t the end of the world. Being murdered over some stupid ring? Now _that_ would be the end of the world.

Once outside of the mansion and out onto the street, she found an empty spot and let Scoot out of her pocket. “Dude, you’ve finished eating, right?”

“I have indeed,” Scoot replied. “All that remains in your pocket is the skeleton.”

“Ew, that is disgusting, you little traitor. I know perfectly well you can eat the skeleton too. It should be skele- _gone_.”

Scoot glared at her. “You have been hanging out with Adrien too much lately.”

“Well someone’s gotta. Anyway, there’s no way I can make it in time unless I transform, and I’m not passing up the chance to kill Kim – uh, I mean, defeating him in a way that definitely does not involve death. Scoot, _form Voltron!”_

With a flash she transformed into Queen Cobra and skated away.

 

 

 

One satisfying victory later, Alix rollerskated into Fu’s room with sunglasses on and her winner’s prize of a can of Red Bull in hand. “Grandpa, you’re not gonna fricking believe this–”

She stopped dead when she saw that Fu was already with someone. And not just anyone.

“Adrien! What the hell are you doing here?! I told you to stay at home!”

He was sitting there opposite Fu, having a cup of tea, listening to Wayzz pattering around on the phonograph. Looking up at her sheepishly, he said, “I, um, really don’t like being kept inside.”

She lifted up her sunglasses to glare at him properly. “But this is for your safety!”

“That’s the exact thing my father told me when he kept me locked inside the house before I was allowed to come to school…”

Oh. _Oh_. Of course. The years of isolation that Adrien had suffered. How could she have forgotten about that?

“Alright, fair enough,” she said, though still slightly annoyed at the fact that even _real threats_ could not make this boy care for his own safety. “But next time you leave the house alone, take that massive bodyguard of yours with you.”

“I did. He’s waiting in the car down the street.”

“Well, I guess that’s better than nothing…” She skated forwards and sat down with a thump, leaning on the table in front of her. “So, why are you here?”

“I told Master Fu what’s going on.”

Oh, good. That was exactly what Alix had come here to do too. Scoot whizzed out of her pocket and started being annoying, as usual.

“Master, please tell this imbecile what the Cat Miraculous looks like!”

Fu smiled, taking a long sip of his tea, before putting it down and replying. “Black with a green paw print on it.”

“But – but–”

“Of course, that is only when it is actively being used by a hero. Otherwise it takes the appearance of a perfectly ordinary silver ring.”

“AHA!” Scoot flew back and punched Alix’s arm. “I told you so! I told you so!”

“Yeah, well I told you so too,” she said, pushing him away. “I wasn’t wrong about it being black and green, was I?”

“So my father’s ring really is the Cat Miraculous?” Adrien said, his eyes lighting up.

“That seems likely,” Fu answered. “That would explain why so many people want it, and would also explain why Hawk Moth wanted Ladybug’s Miraculous so much. Those two Miraculouses combined give the wearer power like no other.”

“You mean like time travel kinda power?” Alix asked, thinking back to her birthday. If only she could go back in time and just – !

“Possibly, if that is what the wearer wanted. But its power comes with terrible consequences. Adrien, you cannot let anyone get hold of that ring. You must search for it and bring it to me.”

Adrien nodded. “I’ll… I’ll try. But then what do I tell everyone who wanted it? How did they even know about it?”

“I do not know. Perhaps your father was bribing them to keep quiet about it, and now with him in jail, they are taking their revenge. Take care, Adrien.”

He sank down, his shoulders drooping. “So I have to take my bodyguard everywhere I go now? To protect me?”

Alix gave him a poke in the arm. “Nope. You could always take your awesome superpowered friend with you instead.”

He smiled at her. “Thank you, Alix.”

“No problem. If I see Ladybug and Rena again I’ll ask them to keep a lookout for you too, if you want.”

“That would be great.”

The thought of Ladybug and Rena Rouge gave her a pang of, well, _something_. Was she missing them? Surely not! She hadn’t even known them that well, had she? Not well enough to miss them!

But certainly well enough to trust them. It had always been nice having them around, and now she never knew when she was next going to see them, if at all. If only she knew who they were as civilians – then maybe she could actually hang out with them more often!

Adrien put his empty cup on the table. “Thank you for the tea, Master Fu, it was much needed. I suppose I’ll go back and start searching for that ring now…”

“Good luck,” Fu replied.

“Thanks.” He stood up to leave. “Hey, um, Alix? Do you want to come along?”

“Why?” she asked. “You don’t need a superhero’s powers to help you search for some random ring.”

“No, I meant, it would just be more fun with a friend, I guess… and I’ve got loads of video games, so if we get bored, we could…”

Wait, he actually wanted to hang out with her? In his spare time? When he technically didn’t need to? But that just… that just _didn’t happen_. Marinette only ever invited her over to participate in her zany over-the-top schemes, same with Alya, Mylène only ever wanted homework help, Kim only challenged her to stupid stuff…

They only ever spoke to her because they needed her for something. She had assumed that was the same with Adrien too. He was only hanging out with her because she was Queen Cobra, and he needed her help.

But this…

He didn’t need her around right now. He just _wanted_ her around. And not as Queen Cobra, but as Alix.

“Heck yeah!” she said, leaping to her feet so fast she almost slipped over in her skates. “Let’s go! Come on Scoot. See you later, ninja turtle!”

“You too, solid snake!” Fu replied, waving at them as they left the room.


End file.
